I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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