Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
