fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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