He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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