dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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