His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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