you mean i was at the winter classic?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
