Jerry, you need to find god
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
