My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
