I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
