Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
