my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
