I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
