Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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