Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
