she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
