Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
