i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
