You made me cry and you don't even care
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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