My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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