Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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