It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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