eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
