His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
