Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
