In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
