there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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