There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
