I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize