I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
