Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
