Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize