i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
