Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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