I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
