Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
