She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
