i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
