She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize