we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
