the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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