Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
