I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
