your thong is hanging out like whoa
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
