Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize