Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
