so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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