You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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