Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
