The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Still dying that you shit outside
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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