; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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