I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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