You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
