what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
