Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize