you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
