It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
