he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
