Dual....:-)
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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