I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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