based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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