Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
