Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
