quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
