Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
