What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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