it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
