i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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